Internal Family Systems (IFS): What is it and how could it help me?

Instead of working to get rid of certain thoughts and behaviours, this increasingly popular modality shines a light on what purpose they truly serve, to encourage better self-awareness

Sometimes, we’re all just doing our best to cope with what life throws at us. Maybe you scroll on social media to avoid getting lost in your own thoughts, or perhaps you fake a smile to pretend that everything is fine. The problem can come when we insist on ‘stamping out’ these patterns and behaviours without investigating the purpose they serve, or what they might be trying to tell us.

For some people, Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a fresh perspective; a way to compassionately embrace all parts of the psyche, without labelling them as ‘bad’, or something to be fixed.

What is IFS?

Internal Family Systems is a form of psychotherapy that views the mind not as a single self, but as a ‘family’ of competing, and contradictory, parts. Developed by family therapist Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS works on the theory that we all contain multiple ‘parts’ in the form of distinct sub-personalities, each with their own perspective and feelings.

“These parts are like different voices, beliefs, roles, and experiences that we’ve internalised over time,” explains psychodynamic counsellor Anna Chainska. “In [IFS] therapy, we start learning about these parts, and understanding them. I guide clients to relate to their parts with curiosity, love, and compassion, rather than seeing them as bad, negative, or something to get rid of.”

While IFS was initially developed for the treatment of eating disorders, it can be used to treat a variety of conditions and symptoms, including depression, trauma, and substance use. Whether it’s the loud inner critic, the voice of worry that keeps you awake at night, or the rebellious streak that emerges out of nowhere, IFS argues that these aren’t flaws, but members of your internal family trying diligently to help you navigate life, often based on survival instincts.

No bad parts

IFS identifies four main parts that we all have within us:

Exiles: These are wounded parts, usually formed in childhood, that carry painful emotions like fear, shame, or trauma. Over time, these parts can become increasingly desperate to be heard and healed, sometimes breaking through in unexpected moments.

Managers: These are the organised, proactive parts that run our daily lives. Like security guards, they aim to keep us safe by maintaining a sense of control. They might show up as perfectionism, planning, people-pleasing, or the inner critic. Their goal is to prevent those exiled parts from ever being triggered, or hurt, again.

Firefighters: When exiled parts break through, and the painful emotions start flooding the system, these parts spring into action. These are the reactive parts that will do anything to extinguish pain. They might show up as emotional eating, shopping, self-harm, or any behaviour that provides immediate relief or distraction from pain.

Self: This represents who we truly are beneath all of our experiences, and is linked to traits like calmness, patience, clarity, and presence. With IFS, you can work to reduce harmful behaviour that comes from our different parts, and ensure decision-making comes from the self.

Connecting with the self

During an IFS session, your therapist will work with you to understand how each of these parts is currently functioning within you. This is commonly called ‘parts work’, and can be a revolutionary shift for people who have a tendency to repress, judge, or dismiss their emotional experiences.

“While these parts have important roles, they can sometimes take over in ways that feel chaotic or overwhelming,” says Anna, who helps clients get curious about particular parts, leading to new insights.

“For example, a client who lashes out in anger at their partner may realise that beneath the fury is a deeply scared part that feels unseen or unheard,” she says. “Naming and acknowledging this vulnerable [or exiled] part often softens the reactive behaviour almost immediately.”

It’s the act of witnessing each part and speaking to them as the ‘self’ that holds great power. “A protective part relaxes once it feels understood,” says Anna. “For example, a client who is constantly anxious about their relationships may feel a hypervigilant part finally eases off when the self offers compassion.”

Instead of trying to minimise the symptoms of anxiety, the self says ‘I see you, and I know you’re trying to keep me safe,’ which can help to restore balance. “I often explain to clients that the self is like your emotionally mature, integrated part – the part that can observe, understand, and guide in a balanced way,” explains Anna.

This becomes essential medicine for the younger, more reactive and protective parts.

“When clients begin to recognise and differentiate their parts from their ‘self’, they gain awareness and can consciously respond, rather than react,” says Anna. “It’s through this conscious awareness, and compassionate leadership, that healing can really take place.”

What does the research say?

While IFS has grown in popularity in the last few years, the current body of research remains limited. However, case study successes, as noted in a 2025 review of the current research in Clinical Psychologist, highlights IFS as “promising treatment, particularly useful for chronic pain, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD], and developing self-compassion and self-forgiveness”.

It also documents how it can be combined with existing modalities, with studies showing positive outcomes when integrated with art and expressive therapy, EMDR, narrative therapy, and solution-focused therapy.

Encouragingly, IFS has been applied within various therapeutic settings, including individual, couples, and family therapy, across various age ranges and ethnic backgrounds, and with LGBTQIA+ clients, making it a viable tool for those seeking therapy. But it’s always worth noting that finding the right support can be a very personal thing, so this may not be an approach that resonates with everyone.

Exploring IFS

Working with a qualified IFS therapist is recommended, and most will offer an introductory call where you can ask questions, and explore how the approach might work for your particular circumstances.

As a starting point, Anna suggests tweaking the language around your thoughts and feelings, by referring to them as ‘parts’ as a way to distance yourself from the experience, and create opportunities to shift into your true self: “Ask a part quietly what it needs or fears, or journal in the voice of different parts. This can reveal hidden intentions and motivations.”

Sometimes, the most powerful change comes not from pushing parts away, but from letting them know they’re no longer alone.

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