Can present-day parental support change how we remember past traumas?

New research suggests that memories may not be as permanent as previously thought

Most of us think of our childhood memories as fixed, filed away somewhere in the mind. But new research suggests that those memories may be more fluid than we first thought, shaped not only by what happened long ago, but by how supported we feel right now.

A recent study published in Child Abuse & Neglect suggests that young adults’ memories of childhood adversity can shift depending on the quality of their current relationships with their parents. During periods when participants felt more supported by their caregivers, they reported fewer adverse childhood experiences; when those relationships felt strained, memories of early adversity were more pronounced.

Adverse childhood experiences (ACE) include experiences such as abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction before the age of 18. These experiences are commonly assessed using standard questionnaires and are widely used in medical and psychological settings, with higher ACE scores associated with increased risks of mental and physical health difficulties later in life. These tools generally rely on the assumption that adults’ memories of their childhoods are stable and reliable.

Yet memory doesn't function like a video recording. It's ever-changing, influenced by mood, identity, and context. This may be particularly true during emerging adulthood — a life stage where identities are formed and parental relations are shifting.

To explore this, researchers Annika Jaros and William Chopik from Michigan State University followed 938 young adults over an eight-week period. Participants, most of whom were university students, completed the same survey three times, four weeks apart. Each time, they filled out a widely used childhood trauma questionnaire and rated the current quality of their relationships with parents, friends, and romantic partners, as well as their levels of academic stress.

What they found was that when individuals reported higher-than-usual parental support, they tended to report fewer instances of past emotional abuse, neglect, and other adverse experiences. When parental strain increased, reports of childhood adversity rose.

Interestingly, relationships with friends and romantic partners had less influence on these memory shifts. While people with generally supportive friendships tended to report fewer ACEs overall, week-to-week changes in those relationships did not strongly affect recollections of childhood trauma. Academic stress showed only a minor association.

The findings suggest that the parent-child bond continues to shape how young adults interpret their early experiences, even years later. Rather than indicating that people are unreliable narrators of their past, the researchers argue that memory may be adapting to meet present emotional needs.

The study does have limitations, namely that the sample was relatively narrow, focusing mostly on university students, and participants with more severe trauma histories were more likely to drop out over time. The eight-week timeframe also leaves questions about how these patterns play out long-term.

Even so, the findings could mean that a single screening for childhood adversity may reflect a person’s current emotional landscape as much as their history, and medical professionals may find that multiple assessments may offer a fuller, more nuanced picture.

As Chopik notes, “People are generally consistent in how they recall their past, but the small shifts in reporting are meaningful.” Our memories, it seems, are not just records of what happened, but living narratives shaped by who we are becoming and how safe we feel today.