Not everyone is an introvert or an extrovert. Many sit somewhere in between, and embracing this flexibility could help you understand yourself better…
Getting to know yourself is a lifelong process that can take many twists and turns. But, for some of us, learning where we fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum can be the foundation of understanding who we are.
Perhaps you see yourself as an extrovert; someone who gets energy from socialising with others and needs to ‘think out loud’ by sharing problems in order to process them. If you’d call yourself ‘chatty’ or ‘outgoing’, you might identify with this label. On the other end of the spectrum, maybe you’re an introvert; someone who needs alone time to recharge your energy and think things through in private. Introverts are generally considered quieter and more reflective than extroverts.
But what if neither of these personality types feels like the whole you? What if you’re a little bit of both, depending on your mood and the situation? Well, you’re probably an ambivert, someone who falls in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum, and who draws energy from both social interactions and solitude – depending on the context of each of them.
Benefits beyond the binary
The discovery of a third personality type might bring a sigh of relief to you, because feeling forced to pick a label at either end of a spectrum can leave us feeling like we don’t fit in. For example, someone who has adopted the narrative of calling themselves an extrovert may find themselves saying ‘yes’ to every invitation, their time swallowed up by constant social interactions, leaving them little time for their quiet passion for reading and writing poetry. They may only crave a very small amount of ‘introverted’ time, but have become so caught up in the habit of their extroverted identity that they have trouble believing they are capable of solitude, disconnecting them from an important part of themselves.
Similarly, someone like me, who identifies as a textbook introvert, can actively avoid social situations and busy events, simply because we believe in the story that we will come away feeling drained and overstimulated. In reality, chatting and laughing with others can actually often boost my energy, helping me feel more optimistic and motivated than on days I remain alone.
The point is this: personality is rarely fixed to a static set of traits, and, so, trying to box yourself into a fixed label can feel unintentionally limiting.
What it means to be an ambivert
Speaking to Scientific American, personality researcher at Humboldt University of Berlin Jens Asendorpf stated that 90% of people are neither introverted nor extroverted, but fall “somewhere in the middle”. With that in mind, what are the signs and benefits of being an ambivert?
You’re adaptable
One of the key attributes of an ambivert is the ability to lean towards both introverted and extroverted behaviours. You might thrive in high-energy team sporting events, but when it comes to meeting new people in the pub, you enjoy listening and observing from the sidelines. Whereas some people can only do one of those things, you can do both.
Your social battery is context-dependent
A room full of strangers leaves you drained, but a long evening with a close-knit group feels energising. It’s not that socialising tires you out, but the type of socialising that matters. You can talk for hours with the people who share your interests, or make you feel emotionally safe, yet a party of different people might have you making excuses to leave early.
You’re selectively social
Many ambiverts don’t feel the need to be around people constantly in the way some extroverts do, but, at the same time, being alone for too long doesn’t feel right either. You’re probably genuinely happy spending a Saturday night alone as much as a board game night with your besties, depending on your mood and energy levels.
Your decision-making is internal and external
While extroverts tend to require talking out loud with other people in order to process thoughts and make decisions, introverts prefer to do the same internally. Ambiverts are flexible; sometimes you think out loud and bounce ideas off friends, while other times you need solitude to think clearly. Knowing that you can do both empowers you to choose what’s right for you in any given situation.
You’re a chameleon
In a room full of introverts, do you find yourself becoming more bubbly and chatty? Yet, in a group of extroverts, you become an astute listener? Having the capacity to shapeshift and blend into each environment is a trait often associated with ambiverts.
If you recognise yourself in these traits, it may be worth letting go of the pressure to define yourself too rigidly. Rather than asking whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, a more helpful question might be: What do I need right now? The answer may change from day to day, and that’s OK!
Seeing yourself as an ambivert creates space for not just flexibility and improved energy levels, but a more authentic expression of the real you.
