Anxiety on Your Mind: Catherine’s week

Welcome to Anxiety on Your Mind, a series that explores what it’s really like to live with anxiety. Here, Catherine Stratta, a 63-year-old bipolar and anxiety specialist coach from Hampshire, shares her story…

Catherine Stratta as told to Fiona Fletcher Reid

I have more than 50 years of lived experience with anxiety, and, now, use this and the knowledge I’ve gained during that time, to keep me balanced. With that said, I’m doing a lot of training at the moment, as well as developing my own course for my clients, and although I’m enjoying it all, the reality is that there are only so many hours in the day, and I am starting to feel a little overwhelmed with how much I’ve taken on.

For me, sleep is often the first thing that gets disrupted when I get anxious. Sometimes, I’ll wake in the middle of the night, but mostly I go back to sleep after a few rounds of focused breathing. One day, I wake at 5am and lie there, resting quietly and using breathing techniques to help me doze until my alarm goes off. Anxiety can also infiltrate my day by bubbling away under the surface. One thing that triggers me this week is waiting on other people to help move my tasks forward, which can be frustrating!

It takes a lot of planning to balance spending time with family, walking the dogs, and getting adequate rest with the needs of the business. For example, when we go to visit family for dinner, I feel a pang of worry that I am missing a co-working call where I could be writing or recording videos for the course. I’m already behind on the existing deadlines, but, in the end, I do enjoy the time with family, and recognise the ways that this boosts my mood and keeps me motivated when I do return to my work tasks.

Over the years, I’ve become better at juggling it all, and one of the things that helps is simply admitting when I’ve taken on too much. This is something I have to face this week, as I request the postponement of the practical element of a six-month training course I’ve started. Having those kinds of conversations can be daunting, but after the course leader agrees to the postponement I feel like a weight has lifted. It relieves a significant amount of pressure, and allows me to focus on more urgent tasks.

One of the biggest shifts for me in managing anxiety has been learning ways to regulate my nervous system. Breathwork is one of my favourites, because I can use breathing techniques anywhere – in my bed in the middle of the night, before a meeting, or after a tough conversation. Other things, like yoga and walking, are baked into my everyday routine – so I don’t have to actively think about them, but I know they contribute to me feeling more stable overall.

I’m also having eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy which is helpful for working through deeply-rooted issues from the past. With that said, even that can be an emotional experience, so when I have a session this week, I naturally go for a walk afterwards to help me integrate everything that comes up. This time in nature is so important for me.

Midweek, I begin to notice a shift. I attend a regular networking meeting that feels familiar and supportive, and I feel completely comfortable in this space. Later that day, I take part in an online interview on LinkedIn. I feel slightly anxious beforehand, but once it begins, I find myself enjoying it! It’s a reminder that anxiety often lives in anticipation, and that once I’m actually doing something, it tends to ease off.

As the week goes on, fatigue starts to catch up with me, and, by Friday, the nights of disrupted sleep from earlier in the week leave me with significantly less energy. I wake early again, my thoughts circling around everything I haven’t yet completed. I take stock of my energy levels and decide that I will not record videos, as it will be obvious from the recordings that my energy levels are low. Instead, I focus on smaller tasks that feel manageable. It’s not always easy to accept my limits, but I’ve learned that pushing through when I’m already depleted usually takes more energy, and then I become very tired.

The weekend brings a slightly gentler pace. I don’t sleep perfectly, but I wake with less urgency than during the week. After walking the dogs and heading out for coffee, I notice that the anxiety has softened. With fewer expectations on my time, my body seems to relax. When anxiety resurfaces later, I respond more kindly than I might have done in the past, and give myself permission to rest.

Looking back on the week, I’m reminded that managing anxiety isn’t about getting rid of it completely; it’s about noticing when it’s asking for attention, and responding with a bit more compassion. I’m still learning where my limits are, and I don’t always get it right, but this week has reinforced the importance of pacing myself. Sometimes, the most helpful thing I can do is pause, breathe, and remind myself that I’m doing enough.

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